Diary Entry Mar 17

Dear diary,

They can’t fix me. Meds can’t fix me. I still having such thought, the fear never cease to exist in me. I’m 29, tomorrow 39, the days after tomorrow 49. When finally come to 69, I’m not ready yet to face my own death. 79, time is running out. Do you know how exhausted i go to sleep each time, wishful wake up back in 19. I don’t want to die. Death has become scary thing. I want to live forever, be immortal. Get older mean i get lonely after acquaintance and love ones passing, i face the world alone. Go to coffin alone, die alone. Everyone die alone. What will happen after we die that scare me the most. Though my partner counseled me about life and death, i still find it not satisfy with the answer. Still looking for the answer.

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