Rey Kylo Mirror Of Reality

Rey and Kylo. I found myself pretty similar to them, somewhat see myself in them. I’ve been looking for family in everyone, try to develop a bond with, i wanted parents who is loving, a place where i can bury my head and cry and get comfort. I wanted to have brother sister playmate where […]

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Lonely Battle

Still wake up from nightmare after midnight. It wasn’t the punches that scare me. Words is like invisible black magic spell haunting and devouring me, raging shadow from him and his family, from my previous family. It’s just like this, thou we are heal from illness somehow we still fall sick from flu and fever. […]

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Dairy Entry Oct 28

PTSD isn’t easy to live with. No one ask for it. No one wants subject to violence. I have nightmares recently. Childhood related. Woke up in the morning, bad mood, arm feel the burn. Sometimes anxiety attack at midnight. Chest pain. Choke. Terrific. I feel warm content with loneliness, it’s become best friend ever since. […]

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Pencils Scale

Texture between Faber-Castell and Staedtler pencils. I prefer the latter one. I just love how intense of the lead and graphite of these pencils. I being using Staedtler since i was toddler, it’s my favorite, it’s great in all performance and smooth. So, I’ll try every effort any mean way to get it. Lol. The […]

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Episode 2018

Anxiety attacked after 2 years. No symptom, sudden, no warning. Each chapter different experience, somehow it evolved. Once i knew how to handle it, it’ll come back in different tactic. As always seeing death throughout days. Last night episode was frightened the life out of me. Besides usual soul detached from body, numbness trembling, saw […]

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He’s Gone for Better Afterlife

Rest in peace, Scott Wilson. He played Hershel Greene in The Walking Dead tv series and he was my favorite character until that goddamn governor beheaded him. And he passed on October 6 2018 defeated by long term leukemia. “You walk outside, you risk your life. You take a drink of water, you risk your […]

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Midnight Pain

Pain has occurred since Thursday morning. Right arm, then left arm. Burning sensation, dubbing pain. Fever. I’m not gonna Google. Yeah i did. It left me in paranoid. Does he know how much pain i have to bear for days? Nah. Familiar face came in my mind if anything happen to me, i know i […]

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