Disbelief Paid With Pain

Couldn’t sleep. Thudding pain and bang to wall feel like. Everything coming in in wave. Lost in the middle of ocean, no shore in sight. No cure could help. Body is in pain. Like I’m in hell fire. Probably true. Less religious, god tormenting me with flame from hades. Deeply heavy, anchor weight on me, […]

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Journey Of Belief

Never know Him until age 9. Somehow He called me. I wanted to know who is Him, why everyone worship Him. Why people cry every Sunday. 10 years old, neighbors gave me story book as Christmas present. I was happy. Back then, we rented at their house, upstairs. They invited us to join their Christmas […]

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Hello Death

Hello, death.  You finally visit me. You failed to take me with you, you tried brutal way.  You used to convince me that you’re the only way to get peace. I almost fell to your trap.  Although i was up and down, working hard to turn away from you. You’re smart.  They said this is […]

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Decisions. Decisions. 

Day by day getting old. Effect of aging strongly drill in my vein. I’m not 16 anymore. I am mature than younger days, rational in decisions. The only weakness, i never learn to conquer it, is love. Love blind enough to be fooled by men. History repeat again and again. People said the best warrior […]

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Crocodiles Attack And Thought 

Crocs ate human. It’s controversially emotionally and testing how we react. Kill the croc? It’s very disturbing watching people cut open crocs belly, digging out human remains. Ah, they would tell you “what if this happen to your family? You would do the same to kill them all to get your family back”. I’m not […]

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Earth Is Crying

You guys should remember that we are bringing this upon ourselves. We demand products that require a lot of resources. Thus, companies are taking that as an opportunity to gain profit. They will not stop until they can’t earn anymore on a certain thing. That’s just how it is. If we don’t demand for resource […]

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Watch Out For Your Words

I’m not sure about today. If i can’t do it anymore, i will just surrender to medic.. Distract myself to respond other matters, yes, it did get ease but last only few minutes. Tired again.  When i tell people leave me alone/give me a space, rejection and make fun of me. When i try to […]

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Dairy

Wake up daily exhausted. No activity, no sport, no heavy duty. Drained. Battery always in red alert. 

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9/11

We never forget. My heart was crying out  the moment first tower collapsed, few minutes later, second onw followed. Silence. People mourned, devils cheer. 

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